Aunt Becky Headed to the Big House?

Olivia Jade, Lori and Isabella Giannulli

It appears that Olivia Jade's mom, Lori Loghlin (Giannuli), and formerly Aunt Becky on "Full House" dithered on the way to the Federal prosecutors office to confess, and has been handed a "superseding indictment" on additional charges of money laundering and conspiring to commit fraud related to her alleged $500,000 bribe to get her daughters into USC by, lets just say, less than honorable means, exposing her to considerable extra jail time. A disapproving AllahPundit explains: Report: Lori Loughlin Thought The Feds Were Bluffing, Now “Freaking Out” About Having To Do Time In Prison

Before this story has played out to its conclusion, I will figure out how to turn it into a fine powder and snort it. Ingesting it in dribs and drabs over the course of the day simply isn’t enough.

Which reminds me: It’s disgraceful that in 2019 America, which is literally governed by a reality-show host, we don’t have cameras inside the Giannulli household broadcasting this drama in real time for our entertainment. The feds should agree to knock a year off her sentence if Loughlin’s willing to agree to that.

History may record that the single most glorious populist triumph of this era was Trump’s DOJ sending Aunt Becky down for 5-10 for handing out fat envelopes to get her dumb kids into their dream school. Or, rather, her dream school.

At least Olivia Jade was already gainfully employed being famous for being famous, and doing rather well at it. School would have been a distraction from her real work. The college parties appealed to her, but the drudge work, not so much.

If I were Trump, I’d run on it next year.

“She has been in complete denial and thought maybe she could skate by,” the source explains. “She refused to accept any jail time and thought the DA was bluffing. She was adamant she wouldn’t do any jail time.”…
“Lori is finally realizing just how serious this is,” says the source, noting the former child model is beating herself up for not accepting the initial deal. “She is seeing the light that she will do jail time and is freaking out.”…
“There’s a rift between Lori and Mossimo,” the first source tells E! News. “He is completely mortified by this whole thing and she is putting on a happy face and acting like everything will be OK.”

Is it conspiratorial of me to suspect (as others do) that the FBI and DOJ dropped these indictments at this time to deflect attention from their own misconduct in the Russiagate mess, and to curry favor with the plebes whose kids are unlikely to get into USC without massive cheating?

She’s continuing to do yoga and Pilates, a source told People magazine, assuring the publication that a person accused of multiple felonies is “very faith-based.”
Entertainment Tonight also has a source close to the family confirming that Loughlin and her legal brain trust assumed she’d be let off with a wrist slap, a … perfectly reasonable assumption for a celebrity worth tens of millions of dollars.

Another reason I suspect the motives of the DOJ in this case. Yes, examples need to be made, but this is like shooting a squirrel with the .243 deer rifle. Ask me how I know.

“Her closest friends have warned her she needs to be more humble and worry she’s been misled through this process,” the source adds. “There seems to be a certain belief among her people she is above all of this and everything will be just fine. And it’s becoming more and more evident that is not the case.”…
“They begged her to take the plea, but she truly didn’t feel it was necessary,” the source says. “This isn’t the value system of most of her friends and some of those closest to her, who have stood by her from the beginning, are now starting to distance themselves.”

Linked at The Right Way in Rule 5 Saturday LinkOrama. Linked at Pirate's Cove in the usual Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup and links. The Wombat has Rule 5 Sunday: Maisie Williams up at the Other McCain. Linked by EBL in Greta Granstedt, Amo Ingraham, Now this is the sort of advertising we want: Featuring Elizabeth Grullon, Lara Parker, Nemesis, Leave My Friend Bob Belvedere Alone..., May 8, 1945: Victory in Europe, Sophie Turner, Why last week's Game of Thrones' 'The Long Night' episode was troublesome and bodes to a bad ending for the entire series... There are spoilers too. Update: Episode 4 is not giving me a lot of hope of where things are going, Celebrate Cinco De Mayo, Kentucky Derby 2019, Margaery Tyrell: Natalie Dormer, Angelababy and Pangolins, Audrey Hepburn, Black Widow, Gwendoline Christie, Myrna Loy, Game of Thrones Season 8, Episode 3 should be epic..., Francesca Annis, Madison Lintz, It's Earth Day: Holly Maddux, RIP, Hollywood Easter, Ten Commandments, Hollywood Nuns and Novices, Berlin: No More Words and OMD: Pandora's Box and Louise Brooks.

The idea of Loughlin’s friends in Bel Air tut-tutting her for, of all things, arrogance is snooooooooooort. Olivia Jade allegedly “isn’t ready to forgive and has continued to distance herself” from her mother as she copes with her own nightmare — the loss of her YouTube cosmetics sponsors, the terrifying prospect of having to testify at trial, and the whole “poster girl for underachieving rich kids” thing mom and dad saddled her with. She too is “freaking out,” understandably, per a different gossip site. The good news is that there’s no sign the feds are planning to charge her with any crime related to the admissions scandal.

The bad news is that she’s momentarily unable to withdraw from USC. Maybe that’s what the feds have in store for her: A four-year sentence of having to read books. They should at least give the poor kid the option of prison.

Loughlin has now been dropped from and edited out ofher current show, a frontier drama on the Hallmark Channel. Her character apparently isn’t minor, either; she plays the town mayor. It would have been much easier for producers to leave the episodes they’ve already completed alone and just write her out of future ones, but apparently Loughlin has already reached a level of such O.J.-esque ignominy that they can’t bear to have her onscreen.

They can add her back in five to 10 seasons from now, I guess.