Wildlife's War On Humanity: Polar Bears Assault Arctic Outpost

This sounds like something out of Zoo, that really awful summer show about how all the animals in the world (including a few humans) are becoming infected with a disease that turns them environmentalist telepathically able to communicate with each other, and determined to wipe out the human race. Given the cast, it seems like a worth goal.

Polar Bears Storm Camp, Take Arctic Researchers Hostage

Arctic researchers in northern Russia have been taken hostage after five polar bears surrounded their weather research station.

“People living in the Arctic must be prepared to face with a polar bear,” researcher Viktor Nikiforov said in a statement. “However, the station staff have no weapons. In addition, employees are not provided with stripping, and the station area is not fenced.”

That sound like a problem that could be solved.

The World Wide Fund for Nature in Russia (WWF) has been monitoring the situation. According to CNN, the researchers have been unable to scare the polar bears away. The only thing they have at their disposal to scare the bears are flares. Attempts to use the flares, however, have been unsuccessful. The research base is located on a small island off the northern coast of Russia.

“Yesterday came the bear is near the house,” one researchers said in a statement. “Three times a mechanic fired a signal of the hunter (a small rocket launcher), as the bear did not even scared. Flare was able to drive away, and the close. ”

Yes, bears can figure out if people are bluffing even faster than the Iranians.

The two meteorologists and engineer on the research team have been unable to perform their duties. This includes walking several hundred meters to the sea to measure water temperatures. The bears spend all their time around the station. They sleep there and even fight with one another.

WWF has been appealing to the Russian government to provide the researchers the necessary equipment and means to scare the polar bears away. The Daily Mail Online reports the Russian government has pledged to help. According to CBS News, encounters by polar bears has increased recently do to global warming.

If by that they meant there are so many researchers visiting the Arctic to suck up government money, take photos to be construed as proof of global warming, and get away from the summer in the city that they keep running into the Polar Bears whose populations have been expanding in recent years, they might have a point.