Who Doesn't Carry a Can Opener?

Florida man This guy apparently. WaPoo, What a tool: ‘Disrespectful’ man uses shark’s teeth as beer can opener

A gang of disrespectful US fishermen are being chewed out online after they filmed themselves cruelly — and perhaps illegally — using a helpless shark to open a can of beer. They had originally posted footage of their heinous act to TikTok in May, but re-uploaded it to Youtube this week, where it sparked a fury among animal lovers, Kennedy News reported.

“It was just a bit of fun,” West Virginia fisherman Wyatt Dallison cheekily told local media of the stunt, which he and buddy Cody Scott filmed after catching a sand tiger shark in Florida.

In the appalling footage, originally uploaded to hunting and fishing TikTok channel @outdoorchaos, a fisherman can be seen holding the critter’s mouth open while his fellow jackanapes look on in amusement. Then, in a shocking move, one of the bozos decides to smash open a can of Busch Light Apple on its teeth, whereupon it gets stuck in the shark’s mouth, before falling out.

“Taking a sand tiger out of the water. Illegal. Recorded yourself doing a crime. Brilliant.” snarked one detractor, while another commenter claimed that their brother’s friend “got fined $5,000” for pulling a similar stunt. Indeed, Florida law dictates that protected shark species — such as a sand tiger shark — “must remain in the water with the gills submerged when fishing from shore or from a vessel,” according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

In fact, Scott was reportedly approached by wildlife authorities after the video went viral.

“I got a warning from the game warden after the video was taken,” lamented the fisherman. “I didn’t know at the moment, but I do now so no more sharks will be taken out of the water by me.”

Nonetheless, the social media clout-seeker claims that “absolutely no sharks were harmed in that video.”

His buddy Dallison, meanwhile, insists that the duo did nothing wrong.

“It probably wasn’t the greatest idea, but you know at the end of the day we did everything we could to make sure that shark was OK,” he claimed. “We were trying to keep it in the wash so it still gets water in its gills, but people are allowed to think what they want.”

I doubt the shark was hurt by the can anymore than it was by being kept out of the water. Even if it knocked out a tooth or two, sharks have multiple files of teeth, as new teeth are being produced at the rear part of the jaw, and migrate forward as the older teeth fall out naturally, or more likely, get knocked out in the course of feeding. Hence the millions of shark's teeth that decorate our beach. 

But, Sand Tigers don't like Busch Lite. Give them a Dogfish Head  - Flesh and Blood IPA or no beer at all.