Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Reign of Pain Update

Via Wombat's In The Mailbox: 12.24.18 Don Surber keeps us alert to the consequences of the shutdown:

Day 1
But the government shutdown is to shutting down government what late night hosts are to comedy: a piss poor imitation.

Washington thinks this is a big deal. The Washington Post railed in an editorial, "Trump's shutdown stunt is an act of needless stupidity." It began, "'IT'S ACTUALLY part of what you do when you sign up for any public service position.' So said Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) when asked about the hundreds of thousands of federal workers who will have to work without pay."

But everyone knows that is BS. Some government offices will close, some government employees will stay home, and Congress will make sure they get back pay. Anywhere else that is called a vacation.

This means the Post's precious advertisers will stay in business.
Day 2
Still no mayhem and looting in Poca, West Virginia, but church just let out, so we shall see.

Meanwhile, the Associated Press has compiled the list of deprivations the American people suffer because the federal government is partly shut down. I warn readers that the rest of the post contains horrors not witnessed by mankind since that day I ordered a Super Breakfast at Tudor's and it came without a biscuit.

The AP reported, "The Statue of Liberty was still open for tours, thanks to funding from New York state, and the U.S. Post Office was still delivering mail, as an independent agency.

"In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was remaining open with state funding, the governor said. But visitors arriving at Carlsbad Caverns National Park in southern New Mexico could check out only the surface, not the underground cavern that is the park’s main attraction. The memorial to Oklahoma City bombing victims was to continue to operate, but the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library Center at College Station, Texas, said its National Archives facilities were closed during the shutdown."

No Bush presidential library! What are we to do?
Day 3 (Christmas Eve)
The anarchy continues on the third day of no government. The stores were crowded today with panicked shoppers desperately buying anything they can like southerners buying milk, bread and eggs ahead of a blizzard. They fight snow with French toast in Dixie.

Alas, the government shutdown has emptied the shelves of dolls, video games, and ornaments.

It's like Venezuela without the people resorting to selling their hair, their blood, and sex in order to survive. But that is the next step, isn't it? Just think of all those obese children starving without food stamps.

The shutdown is turning men gay, just like climate change is doing to frogs in Minnesota. I cannot tell you how many fine, upstanding married men -- pillars of Poca, West Virginia, society -- I saw buying women's lingerie at Wal Mart today.

They even have a song encouraging this behavior. It said a something about "don we now our gay apparel."

Curse you, Donald Trump.
And then there's today Day 4 of no government
The effects of the government shutdown have gone from bad to worse. Last night was eerily silent. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Facing starvation, people are getting desperate. Some people dreamed of snow falling today so they could have something to melt and drink.

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