Thursday, July 10, 2014

Renowned Climate Scientist Predicts End of Curvaceous Women

Tyra Banks Says Beauty in the Future Will Mean Looking Different
As I look into the future, I see radical changes in both how people "attain beauty," and how the world perceives beauty. In general, I believe, traditional beauty will be less valuable—and more uniqueness will be heralded.

But let me be more specific with 10 predictions:

1. Plastic surgery will be as easy and quick as going to the drugstore for Tylenol. Emphasis will be on how unique and interesting one can look, as opposed to a cookie-cutter look. People will be vying for that cutting-edge, distinct look in the way that today celebs reach for baby names that defy convention.
I have my doubts; surgery may become automated and rapid, but healing will still take time
2. There will be no hair extensions. If one wants longer locks, a hair-growing serum is applied to the scalp, and the length and thickness of the hair will increase in 24 hours. The popular hair texture of choice will be curly.
And then straight, and then curly, and then frizzy and then straight again. Actually, I can buy this up to a point, but I don't see really rapid hair growth (say, more than about an inch a day) as feasible, just because of the amount of cell proliferation necessary to carry out the hair growth.
3. Global warming will threaten our crops so natural food will be scarce. Hourglass, curvy bodies will be the aspirational beauty standard, representing that those women have access to bounties of fulfilling yet healthy food, which means they are affluent.
So all the other answers assume some kind of marvelous technological future, but she assumes that lack of food due to global warming will have women as a class starving into Popsicle stick figures.  In fact, plants generally like warmer temperatures and higher CO2 levels, and the ranges for crop production will move steadily poleward if and when the globe warms. Basically, she has to genuflect to the religion of global warming climate change climate disruption or be burned at the stake; but she isn't really a believer.
4. The features of one's baby will be as selectable as menu items at a fast-food drive-through window. Blue and green eyes will become so common that dark brown will become the rare and newly desired eye color.
So people will choose the less popular colors, and it will cause them to become rarer and more popular?  Yes, well it is fashion and it changes every 30, 10, 5, 2, 1 years or so. I expect some uncommon colors to be c
5. Skin color and features will mesh into a similar shade for the majority of people. Typical features and coloring will lean toward a Rihanna or Beyoncé or me kind of look. People with alabaster or ebony skin will be rare and heralded for that uniqueness.
 Actually, genetic evidence suggests rather rapid selection for light colored skin in the European region in the past several thousand years. Now that may be reversed, as whatever advantage is conferred by fair skin (Vitamin D production?) is reversed by civilization, but that's not the direction we're headed now.
. . .
8. Everyone will have at least one personal robot/ assistant/companion. If a person allows that robot/assistant to suggest products paid for by sponsors, that person's robot will be free of charge. In fact, that person will actually be paid to use the robot by a pool of advertisers. The robot will have super artificial intelligence and will be able to sense if its owner is having a low-self-esteem day and will then strategically give boosts of confidence to its owner. "Wow, Eloisa! Your eyes look especially lovely today."
Ich, enough! More Tyra below, but she doesn't say a word, fortunately.

Wombat-socho has the father of all Rule 5 posts "Rule 5 Sunday: On The Beach" up at The Other McCain.

1 comment:

  1. designer babies and robots with the expert Tyra Banks