If you haven’t heard yet, the government of the state of Oregon recently did something horrible – they passed a law allowing Oregonians to pump their own gas! Two states – until recently – have forced gas stations to pay attendants to pump gas for customers.
What this really was is a jobs program for people too incompetent or lazy to do anything else. This is a version of the broken window fallacy (with the state breaking the imaginary window) coupled with social engineering. The government is creating a problem where there was none in order to create employment and force behavioral changes upon the populace. Had the gas station owner merely allowed the customers to pump their own gas, they would have spent less time and resources hiring dolts to do it for them, paying them, payroll paperwork, and other costs associated with this law that forces them to pass those higher costs onto the customer. Meanwhile, the customers are (in theory) less likely to fill up their cars at higher costs, which theoretically will lead to more use of public transportation, and is better for the environment. And those people are spending more money at the pump to pay the dolt to fill up their car when they could be using that disposable income to stimulate the economy.
In other words, the government mandated jobs for dolts program is only good for: higher prices, more paperwork, less disposable income, and less freedom.
Meanwhile, hilarity ensued on the Internet after KTVL posted the Associated Press article I linked above to their Facebook page and asked the public to react to the new law.
Poe’s law is at play here. I can’t figure out whether Oregonians are incompetent, barely functioning toddlers, who should have their metal utensils taken away by the state and barred from wearing shoes they have to tie, lest they accidentally throttle themselves with their shoelaces, or merely brilliant satirists.
For Mike Perrone, some instructions from the Gas Pump Girls:
Either way, the Great Gas Pump Apocalypse of 2018 has apparently begun. Can you imagine the havoc and chaos that could ensue if everyone merely parked their cars at the fuel pump and refused to leave until a gas station dolt came out and pumped their gas for them?
“I’ve lived in this state all my life and I REFUSE to pump my own gas. I had to do it once in California while visiting my brother and almost died doing it. This a service only qualified people should perform. I will literally park at the pump and wait until someone pumps my gas. I can’t even,” -Mike PerroneAnd what about those poor Oregonians who have never had to pump their own gas? Would they even know where to stick the fuel nozzle? (I have a couple of suggestions, but I digress.)
“I don’t even know HOW to pump gas and I am 62, native Oregonian…..I say NO THANKS! I don’t want to smell like gasoline!” – Sandy FranklinAnd what about the poor gas station dolts who will likely be out of a job, now that gas station owners aren’t forced by the government to pay them at least $9.75 an hour to perform a task a drunken monkey could be trained to do?
How will they ever survive without the government mandating that they be hired? They will have to… *GASP* get skills, go to school, learn a trade, and find another job!
Oh, the humanity!
I spent a long portion of my young adult years in Oregon, and remember the no pumping gas rule well. As a former Californian, it seemed, well, a bit odd.
I can practically guarantee the Mike Perrone and Sandy Franklin come from the small populous liberal enclaves that electorally dominate Oregon, Portlandia, of course, but also Salem, Eugene and Corvallis. The remainder of the state, rural Oregonians of all stripe, are probably used to hoisting 6 gallon cans of gas to fill their pickup trucks, ORVs, chainsaws, snowmobiles and farm equipment, if their farms don't have their own gas pumps
Via Wombat-socho's "In The Mailbox: 01.02.18", Michael Totten has a more serious essay on the Oregon issue and how it relates to the difference between the cities and the countryside they rule: Fractured West
Lots of journalists have ventured into the rust belt to find out why so many working-class voters abandoned the Democrats for Donald Trump, but hardly anyone is asking why blue-collar voters in the rural West have been going the same way for years. Perhaps many people think that they already know. In his 2004 book, What’s the Matter with Kansas?, journalist Thomas Frank argued that the Republican Party wins in his home state by pushing a culturally conservative platform to manipulate rural blue-collar folks to vote against their economic interests and for the party of big business and the wealthy instead of the party of labor unions and government assistance.Read the whole thing.
That’s not what happened in Oregon. Yes, rural Oregonians are more culturally conservative than urban Oregonians. Rural people are more culturally conservative than their urban counterparts everywhere in the world. Oregon, though, is not fighting a cultural civil war. Rather, people on the inland eastern side of the state have an entirely different set of priorities. Rural voters are being micromanaged by Democratic politicians elected in Portland, whose land-use and water-rights policies are inflicting at times devastating economic hardship on the other side of the mountains. Contrary to Frank, they prefer the Republican Party not despite their economic interests but because of them. If the Democrats want to win back these votes in the upcoming midterms, the first thing they need to do is stop kidding themselves. Understanding Oregon is a good place to start. . . .
Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Jenna Jameson" and "FMJRA 2.0: Stop The Rock" up for your viewing pleasure.