Say hello to Marisol. She's a shoplifter.Who say's being a cop, even a private cop isn't a shitty job?
"Big deal" you say, shoplifting is nothing special, who gives a shit?
Well kids, Marisol is something special. I shit you not. Very special. You know how some survival experts say to play dead if confronted by a bear? Well, Marisol has a very special defense against department store security guards.
When the guard confronted her about the items that she allegedly shoplifted, her fight or flight response kicked in.
Marisol shit her pants.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
After shitting said pants, Marisol reached deep down into the back of her pants, grabbed a handful of brown matter and smeared it on the guards face. . .
UPDATE: Last minute contenders for the crown! Bungling addicts called 911 after they'd been 'trapped' in a closet for DAYS - only for cops to arrive and open the unlocked door
A Florida couple who were high on drugs spent two days believing they were trapped in a janitors closet and eventually called 911 for help, only to be told by police they could have just opened the door themselves.I think I might have gnawed through the door.
Amber Campbell, 25, and John Arwood, 31, were freed - and then arrested.
The strange incident occurred at the Marine and Environmental Science Center at Daytona State College on Tuesday.
Inside the closet, police said they found feces and copper scouring pads used to smoke meth and crack cocaine, according toThe Orlando Sentinel.
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