Do Not Disturb . . .

. . . The masterbating Walrus. Da Caller, Walrus Wanders Into Harbor, Masturbates, Falls Asleep, Ruins New Year’s Fireworks

New Year’s fireworks celebrations were called off in a seaside Yorkshire town in the United Kingdom Saturday after a walrus decided to take a breather on the harbor’s slipway.

The walrus, nicknamed “Thor” wandered into the Scarborough harbor on Friday afternoon seeking what wildlife experts believe was a rest on the mammal’s journey north, Sky News reported. As Thor continued to stay put, the British Divers Marine Life Rescue (BDMLR) advised city officials to cancel the festivities over fear that the loud sounds and bright lights could “cause distress to the mammal,” the outlet continued.

“We welcome the decision to call off the fireworks but understand that some people will be disappointed the display isn’t going ahead,”Chris Cook, from the BDMLR stated per BBC News. “It is extremely rare that an Arctic walrus should come ashore on the Yorkshire coast. The creature needs time to rest and recuperate before it continues its journey.”

That’s not all the walrus has been doing during his stay in Yorkshire.

A Walrus getting lost, ending up in Scarborough and then masturbating IN PUBLIC then having a sleep and then Scarborough Council cancelling the NYE fireworks display in case it woke him is the denouement of 2022. pic.twitter.com/LzCXZnasiy

— Pastor Alex (@PastorAlexLove) December 31, 2022

Walruses are one of many animals with an actual penis bone, called a baculum. And Walruses are the largest in the world, up to a meter long (that's three feet, for your Neanderthals who reject metric). Alaskan natives call them oosics, and they are items of commerce. I knew a girl in college who had  one.

Some Warm Milk for Monday Morning

Wild Mom Sprays Breast Milk Over Crowd at Music Festival

I'm not as offended as the author of the attached article; breast milk is clean and nutritious. But I'm not much of a milk drinker myself, and if I do drink it, I prefer it with chocolate.

Due to a bout of the flu, the Wombat was a little late with Rule 5 Wednesday: Busy In The Kitchen.

Nothing Exceeds Like Excess

Stolen from Drudge, 'Dragon girl' with tongue split in half reveals new FANGS and 130 tattoos

A body modification fan who had her tongue split in two and eyes inked blue has revealed her new fangs and 130 tattoos as she continues to transform her look.

Amber Luke, 24, from Australia, has reportedly splashed out $26,000 (£20,652.97) on her image.

With her ear lobes stretched and bright blue hair, she describes herself as the 'Blue Eyed White Dragon'.

Flaunting her new fangs, Amber told Daily Mail Australia: "They're very sharp, sharp enough to pierce skin. I love the look of them, it's so aesthetically pleasing.

"I decided years ago that I wanted vampire fangs. I knew I wanted them to be a part of my look."

She added: "They're easily removable and one day I'll be getting permanent ones."

Amber said her vibrant coloured hair she had dyed recently makes life interesting.

She's currently in Melbourne for a week and hopes to be tattooed by at least four artists while she's there.

Interesting, for sure, but I'm not  sure it's an improvement over the original design, but I'm glad she's happy about it.

The Wombat has Rule 5 Monday: Camila Cabello up and running.

WTF Tuesday

This might make more sense if I understood Hindi, or some other language, but enjoy anyway:



The Wombat, appropriately enough, has Rule 5 Sunday: I Like ‘Em Dumb And Busty ready for your amazement.

Clothing Designer Suggests Improvement for Women

Three boobs: Models With Three Breasts Walk the Runway at Milan Fashion Week

Designers are always pushing boundaries when they debut a new collection on the runway. Designer Giuliano Calza did just that when he sent a few models down the catwalk with prosthetic third breast for his GCDS Spring 2019 show.

The Italian label, which stands for God Can’t Destroy Streetwear, had the models sporting tiny neon bralettes each had a fake third breast implanted in between their other two at the center of their chest.

I'm not sure it's really an improvement. Two hands, two boobs; coincidence? I dunno, it seems like a plan.

As Althouse reminds us, the idea is far from novel. The writers in the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Total Recall had the idea back in 1990, and executed it fairly well.

I don't know if they got the feel right, you might have to ask Arny.

Exposed fake breast warning!



Then Angela Basset starred as a three-breasted Freak Show performer Desiree Dupree  in American Horror Story, back in the fourth season of American Horror Story (2014-2015):

Not to mention the 2014 woman, who claims to have paid $20,000 to surgically add third breast in desperate bid to become a reality TV star

A 21-year-old woman claims to have paid $20,000 to surgically add a third breast in a desperate bid to become a reality TV star.

Jasmine Tridevil insists she was rejected by more than 50 doctors who feared violating ethical codes before she found a willing surgeon who would perform the procedure.

Now, she has hired a camera crew to follow her around Tampa, Florida, documenting the 'struggles' she faces as a three-breasted woman.

Shockingly, that one turned out to be a hoax. You can't trust anybody. Especially not women with 3 boobs.

Wombat-socho has Rule 5 Sunday: Oktoberfest up and running.

Minnesota Cops Rescue Damsels Riding a Unicorn

Deputies rescue women stranded on unicorn raft

It was not a fairy tale, but a rescue on a Minnesota lake did involve a rainbow unicorn.

A sheriff's deputy and a reserve deputy from the Chisago County Sheriff's Office spotted a group of five women on a large, inflatable rainbow unicorn floating on Fish Lake Saturday.

FOX 5 sister station KMSP-TV reports the deputies pulled their squad car over and asked the women for a photo, but noticed the raft was stuck in weeds.

One deputy threw a rope to the women while the other recorded a video. A sheriff's office tweet says, "With a handful of laughs and some mad rescue roping skills they were pulled back to the dock!"

But were they virgins?

I'll Bet You Could Run These Out of Washington D.C. Everyday

All aboard the bondage boat! Hundreds of leather-clad Germans set sail for the world's largest floating fetish festival

This weekend, hundreds of latex-loving Germans set sail for a floating fetish boat party.

The Torture Ship is the world's largest party for fans of BDSM and takes place on board a moving barge which has set sail across Lake Constance on the Germany-Switzerland border every summer for the past 22 years.

500 people attended the event as participants flaunted an impressive array of bondage gear, including gimp masks and figure-hugging corsets. . . .

Parts is Parts

Model turns her labia into a necklace after they were cut off in 'designer vagina' surgery

We all have keepsakes we treasure to remember special moments in our lives, from teddies to train tickets.

For Tracy Kiss, her labiaplasty surgery 10 months ago marked the end of a life of 'long-term suffering'.

And so, wanting to have something to remind her of this momentous occasion in her life, she asked her surgeon if she would be allowed to keep her severed labia minora or 'inner lips'.

Why not? Save's him pennies (or is that pence) in biohazard disposal.

The 29-year-old, from Buckinghamshire, likens it to keeping her children's milk teeth, locks of hair, their first babygros - and her silicone breast implants.

Tracy, a former glamour model and single mum-of-two, has suffered with pain and tenderness her whole life from her protruding labia - but she didn't realise anything was wrong because "nobody talks about it".

When not cutting off her nether lips to make jewelry out of, Tracy is an advocate of semen facials and smoothies as an anti-aging treatment (no wonder teenage boys never seem to grow up); they're full of the stuff.

"As a result I’d missed out on so many hobbies and interests that I love and had to be mindful with tight clothing, exercise and intercourse because of the discomfort it caused simply because I didn’t know anything could be done about it – I thought all women were just as tender as I," she writes in her blog .

After realising something could be done Tracy turned to surgery in December 2016, had her labia removed and changed her whole life. . . .

and so, to make a long story short, she made jewelry out of them.



As a onetime practicing biologist, I have a high tolerance for gross, but this seems a bit odd.

Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Eponymous Shorts" up and at 'em at The Other McCain.

It Seemed A Trifle Overpriced Anyway

Teenager who sold virginity for £2 million says ‘it was all a lie’

Aleexandra Kefren, 19, auctioned herself off to the highest bidder on notorious website Cinderella Escorts in November, 2016.

The website, founded by Jan Zakobielski, has dozens of so-called virgins up for auction, and boasts about having Hollywood actors as clients.

Aleexandra gave the site global notoriety after she sat down with Holly and Phil on This Morning. At the time, the then 18-year-old told the hosts that she was inspired by the 1993 film Indecent Proposal, and needed the money to stop her parents being evicted from their home.

 At least it was in a good cause.

Bidding started at $1 million (£700,000) and four months later in March, 2017, Cinderella Escorts announced that the Romanian teenager had sold her virginity for a staggering €2.3 million (£2m).

A year later, Aleexandra has come forward claiming it was all a publicity stunt for a website that allegedly tricks young women into sex work by making them believe they can make thousands.

In an interview with porn site Sugarcookie, Aleexandra said ‘it never happened’. The 19-year-old said she was approached by Cinderella Escorts on social media about a ‘marketing proposal’ that would accelerate her modelling career and turn her into a celebrity.

If you can't trust Romanian teenage girls and porn sites, who can you trust? H/T to Aces Weird News Dump.

Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Bikini Barrel Racing?" up and running at The Other McCain.

Adam's (or Rama's) Bridge

Apparently there used to be a walk-able path from India to Sri Lanka: Adam’s Bridge Between India and Sri Lanka Before 1480

The map above shows what Adam’s Bridge (aka Rama’s Bridge or Ram Setu) in the Palk Strait might have looked like prior to 1480 when it connected India and Sri Lanka.

In 1480 a cyclone supposedly deepened the channels between India and Sri Lanka, rendering it impassible by foot. However, today some sections are still only between 1 and 10 meters (3 and 30 feet deep) as can be seen in this photo from NASA’s Landsat 7 satellite:

Here, you can explore it on Google maps:



Reminds me a lot of the shifting islands on the Eastern Shore. There used to be complete roads out there, too.

They're Real?

‘The Lizard People Are Real!’

He was high on morphine and methamphetamine, and he had a .357 pistol and an AK-47 with four extra magazines, with a total of 172 rounds of ammunition. When police showed up, he told them: “The meth doesn’t make me crazy, man . . . The lizard people are real!” He said his family was being held hostage by the “alpha dragon,” and that President Trump had called to warn him about the lizard people. He was sent to a mental institution for evaluation. (Hat-tip: Instapundit.)

Meanwhile, an editor at Feministing says they’ll be forced to shut down if readers don’t help. By contributing $5 a month, Julianna Britto Schwartz promised, readers will get “that warm fuzzy feeling that comes with knowing that your dollars are supporting young women who are sticking it to the capitalist, white supremacist heteropatriarchy.”

Is the “heteropatriarchy” more real than the lizard people? Probably not, but maybe the editors of Feministing should stockpile AK-47 ammunition just in case. “It’s not the meth, man.”

To everything there is a season. Except lizardmen.

Wombat-socho has "Rule Five Sunday: Snow Bunnies" and "FMJRA 2.0: Thousand Mile Stare" up and at 'em.

Not Florons

But these guys should consider emigrating to Florida:



Found at Ace's "Weird News Dump."

Fierce Competition for Floron of the Week

Three strive for greatness, but only one can take home the prize.

Third place goes to the Woman caught snorting cocaine in parent pick-up line

An officer caught a woman in a Lee County school parent pick-up line snorting cocaine off her iPhone.

The report states the school resource officer at Lexington Middle School spotted Christina Hester, 39, through a second-floor window chopping a white substance on her phone. The officer said he saw Hester use a straw to snort the cocaine.

What, does she think this is still the 80s?

Second place for the McDonald's drive-thru passenger who pulls out replica AR-15 rifle after ice cream dispute

A Delray Beach man wasn't happy that a nearby McDonald's didn't have any ice cream, so he pulled out a replica AR-15 rifle while he waited in the drive-thru line, police said.

Jerry Henry was arrested Monday after the incident at the McDonald's on Linton Boulevard.

Delray Beach police said Henry was a passenger in a car at the drive-thru when the driver, who was ordering food at the intercom, became upset with the employee who was taking his order.

According to a probable cause affidavit, the driver, identified as Michael Delhomme, was upset because the ice cream machine wasn't working.

It's hot in Florida, and when you need ice cream, you need ice cream now!

But going to the finals for Floron of the year: Jacksonville Beach police use 3 Tasers, baton, 4 handcuffs to arrest bar customer

Jacksonville Beach police used a Taser, a baton and four sets of handcuffs to arrest a man accused of punching a bouncer and walking out on his $235 bar tab on Sunday.

Facebook video of the takedown outside Surfer [the Bar] on 1st Street North is leading some beachgoers to question why the use of force was necessary in the first place, since Christopher Alan White did not appear combative when a Jacksonville Beach Police Department officer deployed the first Taser.

White pulled the prongs off the first Taser, seemingly unaffected.

“Stop doing that,” White can be heard saying in the video.

That comment led to a second Taser deployment from a second officer as well as an attempted headlock, from which White wriggled free.

“I’m not fighting,” said White as an officer beat his thigh with a baton.

White swatted at the officer during the beating.

A third officer deployed a third Taser, which brought White to the ground.

Jacksonville Beach resident Annsley Grantham said she’s disturbed about what led up to the first Taser being fired.
“He seemed pretty inebriated, so I don’t think it was necessary to tase him at all,” said Grantham.

And best of all, it's recorded on video:

#JaxBeach Police use 3 TASERs, baton, 4 handcuffs to arrest man. At 6, #ANJaxInvestigates concerns he didn't seem combative before 1st TASER pic.twitter.com/qWy8NrohWj

— Jenna Bourne (@jennaANjax) August 15, 2017

Sweet!

Artist slathers models in honey

Portrait photographer Blake Little covered models in honey for his series entitled "Preservation." Caught in movement, but trapped in the viscose honey, the models in "Preservation" begin to look like sculptures in motion.

The idea was born when he used a little honey as a prop in a more traditional photo shoot. Little immediately noticed how a hand drenched in honey looked like it had been preserved in amber.

One for the ladies.

More at the link.

Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Tuesday Weld"  ready for business.

Some Killer Whipped Cream

Fitness model killed in freak whipped cream accident

A French fitness model died in a freak accident with a whipped cream dispenser, according to her family.

Rebecca Burger, who has more than 156,000 followers on Instagram, was killed when a defective whipped cream dispenser exploded and struck her in the chest, according to a post Tuesday from her family. She was 33.

The BBC reported that she received medical attention but ultimately died of cardiac arrest.

Her family warned fans not to buy the dispenser from the French manufacturer, claiming there were thousands of faulty devices still being sold.

Burger was popular on social media, where she’d post photos of her toned body in bikinis and share tips on food and fitness. She also competed in fitness and beauty competitions all over the world.

I'm so old, I can remember when you made whipped cream with cream and an electric mixer. I never heard of anyone being killed that way.

 Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Guns In The Desert" up and running at The Other McCain.

But Can You Smoke Them?

Tropical fish injects opioid toxin from teeth: Tiny fish with a funny name could help with opioid crisis

One branch of the fang blenny family tree that has coupled these massive chompers with a venom that helps defend it from predators and compete with other little fish.

"We expected this venom to be intensely painful, but instead the bites are actually pain free," says associate professor Bryan Fry, head of the venom evolution laboratory at the University of Queensland's school of biological sciences. "What really surprised us was that [the fang benny's] venom contains these opioid-acting peptides."

There are lots of fish with toxic stingers on fin rays (or in the sting ray's case, the tail) but his is the first fish I've heard of with a toxic bite

"Now, they're not trying to do pain killing as the intended use of the venom, rather it's been selected for the side effects. Anybody who's ever taken a pain killer knows you get a bit woozy, your blood pressure goes down, you're not terribly on your game, so in this case they're using a form of chemical doping to win this competition."

Does the fang blenny venom work on humans as a pain killer?

Many of these blennies also mimic common "cleaning fish", that pick parasites off of larger fish, and take a sneak bite. Does this venom somehow help in their attacks?

Likely yes, but it's only been tested on animals so far. However, the venom is not a mysterious new chemical; it's actually very similar to something we have in our bodies called enkephalin.

Because the chemical is a derivative of a type of peptide humans make naturally, says Fry, researchers are starting "much further ahead of the game" than they normally would be when exploring a potential new pain killer.

These enkephalins work like the natural pain killers in our own bodies. The question is, do the fang blenny version work better than our own? Are they more potent? Do they have fewer side effects? Most importantly, can we learn how they work and subsequently create a new drug?

I'm willing to bet it will be a long time before we see a new drug based on blenny venom, let alone help with the opioid crisis.




Fang tooth - mimic blenny attacking fish from BIOPIXEL on Vimeo.

Morning Music - "Schau Doch Ned So Beys"

Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Whitewashing The Cyborg" ready for your viewing pleasure.

Monster Surfaces on Virginia Beach

A small monster to be sure: Beachgoers warned after creepy looking fish appears in Virginia Beach:

Organizers with the East Coast Surfing Championships, or ECSC, shared a photo last week of the fish, a northern stargazer, popping its head up from the sand.

"A friend of ECSC came across this stargazer while walking in Virginia Beach," organizers said in a Facebook post. "They do not pose any real threat to humans, but they sure look menacing."

Stargazers are one of the world few "electric" fish, capable of making a shock strong enough to stun prey, although they are not strong enough to significantly hurt humans. The nasty looking "teeth" in the photo are fleshy flaps, although I don't doubt they have real teeth of some sort lurking in their mouths. They also have a spine with a venom sac on their dorsal fin.

While found in southern Chesapeake Bay, I doubt they would tolerate the low salinity of our region, although I have been surprise before.

Interior Semidiotics?

Brought to you by way of Subject to Change. Wombat-socho has "Rule 5 Sunday: Valentine’s Day Pinup Edition" up at The Other McCain, more or less on time and within budget.

Floron du Jour

Florida Man Says He Stole $7 Billion Because Jesus Wants Him To Be Wealthy

A Florida man accused of making $7 billion in fraudulent wire transfers told the court he stole the money because Jesus wanted him to be wealthy.

Authorities arrested John Michael Haskew, of Lakeland, in mid-December after he allegedly set up the wire transfers on Dec. 9 and 10 from what the criminal complaint described as “a large, nationally renowned financial institution.”

Haskew, who was unemployed, needed to pay off a debt to the federal government, prosecutors said.

That's going to be tough to do from inside a prison.

His alleged scheme was to provide a bank routing number that wasn’t his, according to NBC Miami.

Haskew used that routing number to make more than 70 transactions worth more than $7 billion.

According to the complaint, Haskew told agents he was “self-taught on the banking industry,” including how to make the fraudulent wire transfers.

Haskew allegedly told investigators that he believed he deserved the money, stating that “Jesus Christ created wealth for everyone,” according to WFTV.com.

He forgot the 11th Commandant: "Don't Get Caught"

Haskew could serve up to five years in prison and be ordered to pay a $250,000 fine, according to the Associated Press.

Well, he can probably get a job for the banking industry when he gets out, teaching them how not to get ripped off.