. . . The masterbating Walrus. Da Caller, Walrus Wanders Into Harbor, Masturbates, Falls Asleep, Ruins New Year’s Fireworks
New Year’s fireworks celebrations were called off in a seaside Yorkshire town in the United Kingdom Saturday after a walrus decided to take a breather on the harbor’s slipway.
The walrus, nicknamed “Thor” wandered into the Scarborough harbor on Friday afternoon seeking what wildlife experts believe was a rest on the mammal’s journey north, Sky News reported. As Thor continued to stay put, the British Divers Marine Life Rescue (BDMLR) advised city officials to cancel the festivities over fear that the loud sounds and bright lights could “cause distress to the mammal,” the outlet continued.
“We welcome the decision to call off the fireworks but understand that some people will be disappointed the display isn’t going ahead,”Chris Cook, from the BDMLR stated per BBC News. “It is extremely rare that an Arctic walrus should come ashore on the Yorkshire coast. The creature needs time to rest and recuperate before it continues its journey.”
That’s not all the walrus has been doing during his stay in Yorkshire.
Walruses are one of many animals with an actual penis bone, called a baculum. And Walruses are the largest in the world, up to a meter long (that's three feet, for your Neanderthals who reject metric). Alaskan natives call them oosics, and they are items of commerce. I knew a girl in college who had one.
A Walrus getting lost, ending up in Scarborough and then masturbating IN PUBLIC then having a sleep and then Scarborough Council cancelling the NYE fireworks display in case it woke him is the denouement of 2022. pic.twitter.com/LzCXZnasiy— Pastor Alex (@PastorAlexLove) December 31, 2022
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