Tuesday, February 12, 2013

23 Signs You Might Be an Adult

Swiped from Theo's, who probably swiped it from somewhere else got it from their mother-in-law.  No, I didn't check Snopes..
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is..
I think my record is in double digits. I'm trying to break the watch habit.  I have a cell phone that tells time, and I'm almost always in front of a computer with a clock in the right hand lower corner.  Why do I need a watch on my wrist?
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I'm never wrong; often in doubt, but never wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
 On the bright side, though, I can now nap in my chair pretending to work.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
 How about Trebuchet?
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
 I find that no matter how you wad them up, they consume the same volume.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
You learned cursive?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
So far; wait a few more years.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Sometimes people just die boringly.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
See #3.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
So I have lots of good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
It's called 10 AM most of the time.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
What's Blue Ray?
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
You'll grow out of it after you lose a few days of work.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Point taken.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Ours does.  But all food needs a Braille label for nighttime use.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
Eye candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Scary Areas" routing option.
After sampling in the Anacostia District I got over my fear of bad neighborhoods.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
What line?
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
One. Unless it's one of those rare points that it's important to hear.
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
So you drive Rt. 4 routinely, too?
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
 Or until they can stand up on their own, and attract the neighborhood dogs.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
But those 1.7 seconds are often the longest and most painful part of the day
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
You can reproduce without a working brain, and many do.  Evolutionarily, that's all that counts.

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