Is Putin on Paternity Leave?

The proud parents?

Putin In Italy For Birth of Secret Love Child?

Russian president Vladimir Putin appears to be back at the Kremlin after a mysterious disappearance that had people wondering if the Russian leader might be seriously ill or at risk of a coup. But a Swiss newspaper says the Russian playboy was just in Lugano for the birth of his lovechild.

Is the health care system in Russia so broken even the President doesn't think he can find a sober doctor?

In an article titled Es ist ein Mädchen! or “It’s a Girl,” the paper Bilk claims that Putin and his alleged 32-year-old lover, Olympic gymnast Alina Kabayeva, welcomed their daughter at the private Santa Anna di Sorgeno clinic in the Italian-speaking canton of Ticino on the Italian border—a favorite playground for wealthy Russians.

 Has Russia recovered from Catherine the Great to the point of being ready for another female tyrant?

Il Messaggero also reports that the baby girl is the third child Putin has sired with the former gymnast. The other two children were reportedly born in 2009 and 2012.

Man, they've been busy! I didn't even know about that when I first reported the Putin-Kabayeva union back in 2013: Putin Trades in Babushka for Babe.

The Italian-language Swiss radio channel RSI is reporting that Putin reserved two rooms at the tony clinic—one for the new mother and another for their bodyguards. According to the Italian-language Swiss website Ticino News, Putin stayed with friends for the birth. They also point to a Twitter page linked to Kabayeva that seems to announce the birth though the Tweet would suggest the baby is a boy and the Swiss media say instead it is a girl.

Just like President Obama after re-election, she sure is flexible.

The last time Putin was seen in public was March 5 when he received Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi in Moscow. He then cancelled a series of high-level meetings last week, including talks with Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev and Belarusian leader Lexander Lukashenko. As rumors spread that Putin could have fallen ill, his spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, said the leader was just overworked. “No need to worry, everything is alright,” he said, adding that the president’s grip was still so firm, “he could break hands with it.”

No doubt as soon as the little tyke and his mother are safely ensconced back in Mother Russia, Putin will be seen out wrestling bears shirtless again. Besides, it's pretty cold in Russia now, any sensible Russian would be in Italy.

Other news outlets floated the idea that Putin’s absence could be the result of a bad plastic surgery. Forbes meanwhile reported that the killing of opposition politician Boris Nemtsov had created a rift within the chiefs of the Russian state security agency and Ramzan Kadyrov, the head of the Chechnya region, leaving Putin vulnerable to a coup.

But Belkovsky also noted that he spoke with a Kremlin insider who said Putin had a surgery in Switzerland and that he "feels torn" about the competing stories. . .

Well, if they aren't going to tell you, just make up what you want to hear. That's how they do it here in the United States.

Wombat-socho celebrates Miss Palin's impending nuptials with "Rule 5 Sunday: Congratulations, Miss Palin!"