'Gay Caveman': Not Caveman, Not Gay, and Maybe, Not Even Man...

Scientists speak out to discredit 'gay caveman' media reports

Reports that surfaced last week about the remains of a "gay caveman" found in the Czech Republic have prompted scientists to take on an unlikely foe -- an overhyped news media that may be overblowing the archaeological find... "We believe this is one of the earliest cases of what could be described as a 'transsexual' or 'third gender grave' in the Czech Republic," the Czech Position newspaper quoted archaeologist Katerina Semradova as saying at the press conference...The man's skeleton was found placed on its left side with the head facing west -- traditionally the position in which females in the culture were buried. Around the remains were items also typically associated with female burials instead of weapons normally found in male graves from that time period. Two other conventional male and female graves were found at the same site.

Maybe he wasn't gay. Maybe he was just effeminate...  Or maybe they hated his guts and buried him that way to humiliate him in the afterlife.  I assume cavepeople could be assholes too.  But wait, he can't be a caveman:

"Dudes! I could be wrong, but I think that to have a 'gay caveman,' you need a skeleton that is both gay and a caveman. And this ain't either!" John Hawks, an associate professor of anthropology at University of Wisconsin-Madison, wrote on his blog in bold type... First, cavemen lived about 30,000 to 20,000 years ago. The remains found last week were from the Neolithic Age, about 5,000 years ago, Hawks told CNN. And while acknowledging the "unusual" circumstances of the burial, Hawks said there is no way you can tell someone is homosexual by examining a skeleton.  Instead, the possibility of a third-gender grave -- as outlined by the archaeologists -- is more plausible, he said, noting that some cultures have a third category where, in some cases, men may have feminine characteristics or roles.

 Moreover, the skeleton in question is not even necessarily male:

Hawks said the third-gender claims are difficult to evaluate without a formal archaeological description.

"I haven't seen any evidence that really convinces me that the skeleton is male," he said. "It could be, but the photo is not convincing on that point, and I have not seen any claim of DNA testing."

It's tough to assign a sex to a skeleton with certainty, Dobson said. Archaeologists and anthropologists usually rely on bone measurements, particularly the size and shape of the pelvis. But these estimates aren't exact, Dobson said.

"There have been cases in the past where a gender was assigned and we have gone back to look and assigned the opposite gender," he said.

 I looked hard through the files for a picture of a gay caveman.  I found a lot of heroic cavemen saving cavewomen from angry beasts , I found a few nasty cavemen attacking cave women (and getting their asses kicked), but I couldn't find a gay caveman.  Would you settle for maybe lesbian cavewomen?