Answering the Really Big Questions

Do Lucy Pinder's boobs float?  An important enough question that Instapundit himself has passed on the question:

However, as outlined by Goodstuff Cyberworld (and gloriously illustrated), it depends:

Not so long ago, there would have been only one answer to this question. Today, however, the question begs clarification with a follow-up question: What are the boobs made of? Natural boobs and fake or enhanced boobs have very different physical properties.

Real, or enhanced?  The internet would seem to suggest that they are real and unaltered.  Seems hard to believe, but in every distribution there's a tail.

Natural boobs are composed of 90% body fat. The glands that produce milk and the ducts through which the milk flows are actually very small parts of the total boobs. Whether something floats or not depends on the density of the object and the type of water. Salt water is denser than fresh water. If an object has less density than the water, it rises to the top, or floats. Human body fat is less dense than water. In unscientific experiments, natural boobs are shown to float. Whether or not the boobs can support the entire upper body, making a whole person float, depends on the size of the boobs. If the boobs were detached from the body, any size would float in both fresh and salt water.

I would have guessed, and quick research suggests, that 90% number is a substantial exaggeration, it looks like breast tissue is more like 30-40 or more percent water, with an average density close to that of blood plasma 1.03, similar to that of seawater.  By analogy to other tissues I'm acquainted with (well, I'm acquainted with breasts, but I've never measured their wet weight dry weight ratio), I would estimate that they contain approximately 10-15% non-fat dry weight, which would be much denser than water, so right off hand, I think it's an open question whether the average female human breast would be buoyant or not. But then, Lucy Pinder's are far from average, (NSFW link) so assuming they're all natural, perhaps they have a high enough fat content to float.

She does seem rather bouyant on top.

If the boobs are not real, the answer to another question must first be ascertained: What, exactly, are the boobs made of? Almost all fake boobs are made of plastic bags filled with either a saline solution or silicone. Silicone is denser than both fresh and salt water. This means that silicone boobs will sink. Saline solution is another name for salt water. Since salt water is denser than fresh water, saline boobs will sink in fresh water. In most salt water, saline boobs will just hang in place at the depth they are placed. They won’t sink and they won’t float. The saline boobs may sink or float very slowly, though, depending on the exact salinity of the water.

I guess, to find out for sure, you have to do the experiment.  And then, when the experiment is done, they need to be dried off...

Wombat-Socho linked this in the mega-Rule 5 compendium "Body Love" at The Other McCain. Also picked up by the Classical Liberal in his Rule 5 post "Pistol Grip Pump."