British Humor: Ban Kitchen Knives

Julia Child not consulted on knife ban

Doctors' call for kitchen knives ban

A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase - and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings. They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon. The research is published in the British Medical Journal.

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all. They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen. None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.

Julia Child's 10 inch chef's knife from the Smithsonian

You'll get my Rapala fillet knife when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

The researchers said a short pointed knife may cause a substantial superficial wound if used in an assault - but is unlikely to penetrate to inner organs. In contrast, a pointed long blade pierces the body like "cutting into a ripe melon".

Julia Child's kitchen knife set

Oh no! Bodies aren't cut like ripe melons!  They're more like pork roasts.

The use of knives is particularly worrying amongst adolescents, say the researchers, reporting that 24% of 16-year-olds have been shown to carry weapons, primarily knives.

The study found links between easy access to domestic knives and violent assault are long established.

Silly Brits; they have such subtle humor! Maybe they should try kitchen knife registration first?