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North Korean officials have ordered all the lights turned off in honor of Kim Jong Il.
Oh, wait, the lights are always off in North Korea! - Maetenloch
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"I'm confused: CNN says Kim Jong-Il is dead, but N. Korean press says he's currently fighting a 100-ft. tall U.S. super-robot.' - Tim Long
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"The kid gets the nukes." - Albert Brooks
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"In lieu of flowers the family of Kim Jong Il asks you to starve a person to death in his memory." - Gerry Dugan
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"Kim Jong Il is now officially a bit of understatement." - Ollie Pelling
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I do think my favorite Kim Jon Il fact is that the first time he played golf he ended 38 under par and got 11 holes in one." - Jonathon Haynes
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According to North Korean lore, Kim Jong-il's birth was foretold by a swallow and heralded by a glorious double rainbow and the appearance of a new star. His official biography says he was born on White-Headed Mountain, the highest peak on the Korean peninsula. On top of the mountain sits the volcanic Heaven Lake.
Oh wait, that's not a joke; that's for real!
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Another true "joke":
Kim was not technically in charge. His father, Kim Il Sung, who died suddenly of a heart attack in 1994, was proclaimed "Eternal President" and never replaced.
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North Korean state TV now reporting that Kim Jong Il actually invented the heart attack.
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Somebody tell the UN to throw all his jewelry and sunglasses into the volcano.
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I'll immediately forget where I was when I found out Kim Jong Il died.
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I can't wait to see South Park's new episode of where Saddam, bin Laden, and Satan welcomeKim Jong Il. You know it's going to happen.
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North Korean television is reporting that Kim Jong Il will address the nation about his death momentarily.
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Rahm Emanuel honorarily renames Chicago to Kim Jong, IL
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North Koreans secretly popping bottles of cloudy tap water in celebration.
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I know crazy dudes who wear women’s sunglasses always die in threes, but did we start counting with Gaddafi or Al Davis?
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I am hearing Nate Silver’s model will show Kim Jong-un has approximately a 100% chance to take over as leader.
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I can only imagine the forced emotions the people of North Korea feel right now.
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As we speak, George Lucas is digitally adding Kim Jong Il to the celebration scene in Return of the Jedi.
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Well, I think we went through all the potential Kim Jong-il jokes in under an hour. Good job, Internet. Good job.
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"The death triad of Christopher Hitchens and Vaclav Havel deserved at better third, but... good riddance." - Ann Althouse
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I feel bad for Kourtney Jong-Il and Khloe Jong-Il right now.
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“I’d like to think God let Havel and Hitchens pick the third.” - Josh Trevino
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"Shame on the world for letting this fuck stick live out his natural life." - Heart Collecter (an Althouse commenter)
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"Well, now we know what God was busy doing in the 4th quarter of the Broncos/Patriots game." - Derek Hunter
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"The first three people to cease weeping will be shot."
"How will OWS cope with the loss of such a passionate and prominent supporter of income equality?"
both by Meskito (an Althouse commenter)
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The UN held a moment of silence in honor of Kim Jong Il...
Wait! That's not a joke, that's real!
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I heard the Korean government didn’t have enough money to give President Kim Jung-Il a proper burial, so they kept his body preserved in a giant jar of Kim Chee.
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