Sponge Bob Claims Another Victim

Stephanie Pistey

Florida Teen Murder Suspect Says She's a Vampire

An 18-year-old Florida girl accused of helping lure a 16-year-old boy into a fatal trap says she's a vampire who has drunk the blood of her boyfriend.

Stephanie Pistey confirmed assertions by police in Parker, Fla., that the people involved in the July murder of 16-year-old Jacob Hendershot were in a vampire cult. Pistey, who was arrested last Monday and charged with accessory to murder, said she sees herself as a modern day Dracula.

"Since I was like 12 every fiber in my body, basically everything, I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I'm a vampire and part werewolf," Pistey told WBBH-TV.

Vampires always look much better in art and movies than in real life: 

So where did she get the idea to be a vampire?

Pistey's Facebook profile lists "blood" and "unworldly things" among her interests, as well as a fondness for less under-worldly culture, including Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Sponge Bob!  Clearly a sign of insanity. Sponge Bob was recently found by real scientists to be a threat to young children!  See, he turned this one into a vampire!

Pistey says she has drunk the blood of her fiancé and co-defendant William Chase, but she denies drinking Hendershot's blood.

Police believe Pistey cleaned the crime scene and taunted the victim's mother before her son's body was found, The Panama City News Herald reports.

Sounds like a real sweetie.   Maybe she can star in her own Lifetime movie.

Pistey is not the first self-described vampire-werewolf to run up against the law. Other supposed demons have included a Texas man who bit a woman and told cops that he "needed to feed," an Ohio "werewolf" arrested for underage drinking, and, of course, a boozed-up suspect who earned the nickname of "Count Drunkula."

 Or is this a good reason to ban Miley Cyrus?