Let's Apply the Scientific Method to the Economy

One of my earliest discoveries in the blogosphere was Frank J. at IMAO, who specializes in political humor.  I'm glad to see he's got a paying gig with a dead tree place too...

Okay, so let’s try real science

It’s critical that we all accept science’s conclusions. For instance, if we don’t agree on the age of the Earth, how will we know what to do when the Earth tries to buy liquor? And without knowledge of evolution, when a species goes extinct, how do we know who to notify as its next of kin?

But despite the obvious importance of science, one group of people does everything in pure defiance of scientific methods: politicians...

In science, when testing things on people, you always use a control group. If you have a drug you think will cut cholesterol, you give it to one set of test subjects. If everyone in the group that took the drug turns purple and starts choking but the control group is fine, we scientifically conclude there’s a problem with the drug.

We have an economy that’s turning purple and choking. Did the stimulus cause that? If we had a control group that looked fine, we’d know.

So what we need to do is isolate part of the country to be the control group. They’ll be free from new taxes, won’t take part in government programs and regulations and can have all the guns they want. In the rest of America, politicians can go crazy with every Keynesian idea, ban trans fats and salt and just generally control everything. Then we can compare the results of the two groups and finally have a scientific answer on what works.

After several years, we’d finally have a scientific answer on big versus small government, so there will be no more arguments. If someone does try to argue about it, you just hold up your palm to his face and shout, “Science!,” which means that the science is settled, so the discussion is over.

As they say, read the whole thing... I skipped some of the best parts.