I Confess, I Talk to Fish

I often say things like "here fishy, fishy, fishy" or &@$$@*!*, bite the effing lure!, or "Gotcha!

But I never expect them to talk back, or to tell on me:


Teenage burglar kills goldfish ‘witnesses’

The 16-year-old suspect clearly hadn’t heard that they only have seven-second memories. Or that they can’t speak.

He has been charged with animal cruelty and burglary, while two teenage accomplices aged 15 and 17 have also been charged with burglary.

The victims of the break-in, which occurred across the pond in Arlington Heights, Chicago, returned from a fire evacuation to find their fish floating dead at the top of their tank, which had been filled with mustard, ketchup and spices.

A local police officer explained the reasoning behind the assassination.

Sgt Mike Hernandez told the Daily Herald: ‘As a matter of fact, it's a little disturbing. According to the police report, he looked at the fish tank and said: "We can't leave any witnesses.”’