Thursday, April 9, 2015

If This Is a Crime, I Hope the Statute of Limitations is Short

Angel Garcia the fish killer
Not Angela Garcia the "escort"
or Angela Garcia the model
Because I've been known to kill a few fish from time to time: Woman Charged With Goldfish Mass Murder

A Florida woman is facing a felony animal abuse charge for allegedly killing her boyfriend’s goldfish by pouring bleach into their tank,according to court records. Angela Garcia, 32, was arrested Saturday after she allegedly trashed beau Norris Johnson’s Orlando-area residence following an argument.
I've never used bleach, but back when I was a teenager working in a tropical fish store I killed more than a few tanks of sick fish with hot water, at the owners orders.
Orange County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the home by the man’s son. He told investigators that his father had gone to work following the argument with Garcia, but had told her to vacate the residence.

As detailed in a police report, Garcia (seen at right) destroyed a flat screen TV, other electronic devices, and furniture in the home, which reeked of bleach when her boyfriend’s son discovered the wreckage.

In addition to causing $1500 in property damage, Garcia also allegedly poured bleach into her boyfriend’s fish tank, killing five goldfish. Johnson’s son told deputies that Garcia was free on bond in another criminal case and that his father allowed her to live with them for a couple of days.
I suppose there are goldfish expensive enough that killing five of them might amount to a major crime. On the other hand, most pet stores sell small goldfish for a dollar a dozen or thereabouts, just to feed to larger fish. Is each one of those feedings a felonious act? I say this in jest, but the point remains; why is one a felony and the other just taking care of pet? Read George Will on "When Everything is a Crime."
Deputies who subsequently apprehended Garcia near the crime scene reported that she was “visibly intoxicated” and “had the presence of bleach all over her clothing.”
Really? Drunk? Whoda thunk?

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